Law Firm To Sponsor 1L Crim Law Final

During these tough economic times it's not only investment banks and major automakers that are feeling the pinch. Law schools around the country are finding it increasingly harder to raise sufficient capital to provide scholarships, attract top notch faculty and make much needed infrastructural improvements. As a result, administrators across the country are actively looking for creative funding solutions.

At Duke University School of Law, Dean Levi has reached out to area law firms in order to raise much needed money. Already the move has borne fruit with one local firm, Gregory &McClinton, agreeing to sponsor this semester's 1L criminal law final.

"Though certainly unorthodox, Gregory and McClinton's sponsorship of an exam will provide the school with resources to continue upgrading our building and paying competitive salaries," remarked Dean Levi. "Desperate times my friends call for desperate measures."

In exchange for an undisclosed sum, the area law firm's logo will appear on every page of the exam, the sponsorship will be mentioned on the blackboard and by the proctor, and promotional stress balls will be given out before the testing begins. Additionally, a firm recruiter will set up a table at the front of the room to advertise thefirm's excellent criminal defense practice, especially in areas such as DWI/DUI, drug crimes and domestic violence.

Perhaps the most interesting result of this novel synergy is that test questions will be reworked to specifically incorporate the Gregory andMcClinton sponsorship. Though the actual exam questions cannot be released due to concerns over cheating, criminal law professor James Coleman has given his students a few practice questions reflective of the new testing style.

One question partially reads: "After learning that his wife has been assaulted, Blint goes into a bar and has too much to drink. He gets into his car, drives for a few blocks and hits a pedestrian crossing the street. Police are called to the scene where they find marijuana in the wrecked car's glove compartment. Blint claims that the drugs are medicinal in nature. You are a lawyer working for the well-known and highly regarded law firm of Gregory andMcClinton , providing individuals, families and businesses in the North Carolina with reliable legal advice for over 15 years. What couldBlint be charged with, what are his defenses and, considering you work for a supremely effective firm, what are the odds of a successful defense?"

Though the dean has claimed that the exam sponsorship is necessary due to the law school's precarious financial situation, students are outraged.

"It's bad enough that we already sell our souls to law firms and let them sponsor almost every event at the law school," remarked 3L NatalieDrews. "But this time Duke has gone too far. What's next: being forced to name our kids Simpson, Gibson, Hogan or Debevoise?"

Despite the criticism, the dean says that the current arrangement, if successful, will likely lead to sponsorships of all 1L tests and possibly every final exam at the school.

"We sell naming rights to everything else at this place - right down to the actual bricks - so I'm not ashamed in the least," remarked a defiant Dean Levi. "In fact, I like Ms.Drews ' suggestion. While I think sponsoring future children may go too far I do believe we can convince firms to sponsor individual students. For example, instead of being known to your professors as 'John Smith', each time you're called in class you'll officially be referred to as 'John Smith, sponsored byLatham and Watkins.' It's brilliant."