3L Hires Paralegal to Help Him Complete Final Semester

In order to help him finish his last semester at Duke University School of Law with greater ease, third year student Jesse Colon has decided to hire a paralegal, sources report.

“As I enter the second semester of 3L year my ambition is do as little as possible while still passing,” admitted Colon. “Having Campbell to assist me will go a long way towards achieving this goal.”

The 3L was referring to Campbell Smith, a recent Cornell graduate who has expressed interest in eventually attending law school. According to Smith, Colon was able to convince her to take the job, in part, because he promised her real world legal education experience.

“I’ve been told by friends and family that it’s best to take a year or two off before beginning law school,” remarked Colon. “So I decided to make the most of my time by accepting employment at a place where I eventually would like to end up. Not only will I make decent money but I should learn a lot.”

Colon has tasked his paralegal with a number of assignments such as taking notes for him in class, typing up his Negotiations journals, flagging important cases for his seminar’s required final paper and getting him coffee from the Refectory, the law school’s cafeteria. The 3L is extremely excited to have Smith’s help but has mentioned that he has to be wary of certain pitfalls.

“As Campbell’s employer I have to be concerned with a range of ethical issues,” said Colon. “As mentioned in the Model Rules, it is imperative that I give my paralegal proper supervision and educate her about relevant ethical requirements in order prevent any possibility for the unauthorized practice of law school.”

Colon added: “This responsibility means that while I won’t let her take my exams for me I definitely plan to have her compile and synthesize all my friends’ outlines to make the 2 or 3 days I actually decide to study for finals that much easier.”

Though the recent college grad was initially quite excited to take on the paralegal position she has soured on the job partially due to the substantial time commitment.

“I didn’t realize that when I agreed to work for Jesse I would essentially be dedicating my whole life to the job,” reported an extremely frustrated Campbell. “He makes me work on evenings and weekend, often at strange hours. Sure I get paid overtime but all the money in the world doesn’t make up for the fact that I’m often taking a taxi home at two in the morning after reading through and notating countless pages of dense Securities Regulation cases.”

Almost as bad as the hours, claims Campbell, is the way the 3L treats her.

“I think I’d be able to better deal with the long days if Jesse didn’t act so disrespectfully,” claimed the paralegal. “He never says ‘thank you’ and always reacts with indignity if I don’t finish some impossibly long assignment on time. What’s worse is that after a few months I probably know many of the legal issues as well if not better than he does but not once has he asked for my opinion on a matter. What a dickwad.”

The regrettable result of Smith’s experience is a profoundly decreased desire to attend law school and work in the legal profession.

“I’m gonna stick it out at least until the end of the semester but I must admit that I’m burned out and disillusioned,” stated Smith. “If this is what the law school world is like - tons of work and asshole classmates – then I don’t want any part of it. Then again if I had my own paralegal maybe things wouldn't be so bad."