1Ls Almost Done with First Year Hazing

First year law students, or "pledges" as many like to call them, are finally coming to the end of a grueling 1 year hazing process driven by relentless professors and administrators. For many, the anticipation that this will all soon be finished is palpable.

"Oh my god I cannot wait until this process is over," exclaimed Melvin Campos, a Duke Law School 1L with bloodshot eyes, a conspicuous nervous tick, and unexplainable bruises on his arm. "This entire year has been one unbelievable task after another and I can't wait until the whole damn thing is over."

Campos and others pointed out that this year's 1L curriculum featured numerous sadistic tests that the first years years had to complete in order to remain members of the law school.

"Reading hundreds of pages, trying to decipher unintelligible material and unintelligible professors, cold calling, difficult final exams, applying for jobs in a terrible economy, and the list goes on," remarked Toby Best, another Duke 1L, explaining how he and his classmates are hazed. "And on top of that they make our legal writing briefs due after Spring Break. What a set of cruel, vicious bastards!"

The cruel, vicious bastards Best was referring to are the 1L's taskmasters, a group of Duke professors and administrations. This tightly knit cabal of law school power brokers sets the curriculum each year, deciding how best to haze each new set of incoming students.

"Before students can become true members of the Duke Law community they have to really work for it, showing they are dedicated no matter how temporarily painful," said a taskmaster and Torts professor who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "That is why students who want to be on a journal have to complete a 15 page casenote after a series of exhausting finals. They have to demonstrate ... hey you, 1L, bring me a cup of coffee pronto!"

According to students who were members of actual fraternities as undergraduates, the law school pledging process is much worse.

"Honestly, I'd rather do an elephant walk or be made to drink my frat brother's urine than go through legal writing again," admitted Ryan Ferrey, a Duke 1L and member of the Delta Sigma Phi fraternity while at UCLA. "That was pure torture."

For some the punishing tasks become too much and they end up dropping out. Even for those that survive the mental and physical toll is tremendous. As a result, certain groups are pushing for stricter anti-hazing laws.

"At law schools across the country, 1Ls are being forced to endure unspeakable horrors," proclaimed Charlotte Pimiter, head of the group Stop Hazing Now. "These acts result in sleep deprivation, hair loss, deflated self-esteem and even mental breakdown. For the sake of these young men and women, we must stop law school hazing."

The question for advocates like Pimiter is how can this process continue despite its obvious dangers. Students say one possible answer is upperclassman schadenfreude.

"The first year of law school sucks now just as it did for me," said Allan Beyer, a Duke Law School 3L. "However, this doesn't mean that current or future 1Ls should get a break. Knowing that 1Ls have to put tremendous effort into their exams while I do not gives me tremendous joy."

Unfortunately for the current crop of 1Ls, the hellishness of first year hazing will not completely disappear over the next two years.

"The most awful and insidious aspect of law school hazing is that they make you think it's over after 1L year," warned 2L Lacy Cutter. "But while things get a little easier, the repulsive tasks don't end just because 2L year begins. If that was the case I wouldn't have just spent 5 hours studying the Model Rules of Professional Conduct for my ethics exam and another 10 hours editing a journal article written by someone with no more than a 6th grade reading level."