Extra Headlines

I thought y'all would enjoy some of the headlines that unfortunately never became posts:

* Draft Pick Asks to Split Season Between NBA Teams
* TA Fails to Get Bonus After Billing Only 18 Hours
* Supreme Court Says Docket Shrinkage Not What it Looks Like
* 1L Indicted in Mail Folder Fraud
* Corporate Embezzlers Derided as Fidouche Bags
* Law Student Wishes Girlfriend Had World Limit
* Fraternity Creates Chapter in Law Firm Corporate Department
* McDonald's Saddened it could not make 100% Offers this Year
* 3L Takes Notes on Whatever Scrap Paper Available
* Sorry that didn't Please the Court, by the Court
* Wife Gives Husband Cold Offer for Sex
* Law Student Gets Off on Technicality
* 3L Spends Vacation Planning Next Vacation
* Once you go Mac you Never go Back
* Please Slow Down. I don't Speak Fluent Lawyer.
* 3L Not Letting Anyone in Library get their Work Done
* Attorney Review: I Appreciate (No I don't) your Insightful (Stupid) Comments on that Assignment (Busywork)
* Lawyer Can't Stop Pointing out Things Wrong with Law and Order
* Lawyer Maps Out Life Plan in Outline Form