Groupies Prove to Be Too Much for Humor Blog Author

According to police, famed legal satire blog author and Duke Law School 3L Matt Lipsky was found dead last night in his spacious, 7 bedroom house. While the investigation is still underway, sources confirm that the renowned satirist likely died from an heart attack induced by an orgy with numerous, extremely hot blog groupies.

Found throughout Lipsky's house were an assortment of discarded lingerie and half naked, completely satisfied women, all professing their undying love for the creator of Ridiculum, a blog dedicated to poking fun at law school, the legal profession and the world at large. The orgy participants talked about the author with a mixture of profound admiration and utter sadness.

"It's unbelievable that he's gone" said Hilda Bergstrom, a stunning Swedish model, between deep breaths indicating complete fulfillment. "He was such an amazing, comical man and the world is now less rich without his and his blog's presence."

Another female admirer of Lipsky's expressed despair at the humorist's passing as well as amazement that, considering the intensity and frequency with which he and his various groupies "did it", he had any energy left to create a high quality, web log.

"I can't tell you how surprised I was that, after the thunderous love-making sessions we had on a weekly basis, Matt was then able to put his fingers to the keyboard and create consistently funny posts," remarked Garbiella Souza, a stunning half-Brazlian, half-Japanese Ridiculum fan who followed the blog since its very first post on August 26, 2008. "I personally was exhausted for days afterward."

The examiner who conducted Lipsky's autopsy remarked that he was astonished that the humor prodigy didn't expire sooner.

"Considering the arduous physical demands put on this young man's body by these incredibly attractive, virtually insatiable groupies, I'm flabbergasted he didn't experience cardiac arrest earlier," explained Anthony Marino, chief medical examiner for the Duke University Hospital. "I probably would have suffered a heart attack just looking at some of these unparalleled beauties."

According to friends, Lipsky's cadre of undying devotees extended beyond some of the world's most breathtaking women. He was known to count among his passionately dedicated fans leading intellectuals, poets, writers, artists and rich divorcees. Sources within the White House also report that President Obama, after making his first official phone call to Palestinian President Abbas, reached out to Lipsky to congratulate him for his "amazingly sharp and witty blog."

To help defray funeral costs, the author's estate will soon begin selling some of his personal effects. Not surprisingly, experts believe that these items will fetch thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars.

"Mr. Lipsky was a luminary in the satire world so it's no surprise that his loyal fans are fighting with each other to own things like the PDA where he jotted down ideas and the computer where he composed his creative pieces," remarked Sandy Rose, an auctioneer at Southeby's. "A rather impassioned set of young women have also contacted me about whether his bed is for sale. I haven't been able to figure that one out."

According to his family, Lipsky's funeral will take place at the end of the week. They expect attendance to reach into the thousands considering that everyone from committed followers to world leaders plan to come.

Yael Cohen, an Israeli actress and sex icon, said she would not miss the funeral "for anything in the world" but isn't sure if she'll be able to remain composed.

"I am going to miss Matt and his incredible blog so damn much," remarked Cohen, wiping away copious tears. "I'll probably start bawling uncontrollably as they lower his casket into the ground. At least when I get lonely I will always be able to go to http://www.ridiculumblog.com and re-read the entries that, like the author, kept me utterly entertained."

Lipsky published Ridiculum from 2008 to 2009. He wrote over 60 entries satirizing everything from the economic downturn to law student intensity. Considering the success of his blog, Lipsky will be sorely missed, especially by those thousands of groupies that he unquestionably satisfied over this past year.