That One 3L Still Trying for Some Reason

Completely bewildered sources report that Duke Law 3L Helene Myers, for some unknown and completely unfathomable reason, is still putting considerable effort into her studies.

"I consider Helene a friend but I am almost embarrassed by how seriously she prepares for class," admitted Myers' fellow 3L Catherine Speaker. "I feel like we should organize an intervention to let the poor thing know that she doesn't have to work this hard anymore."

Considering that many Duke Law students have obtained employment or clerkships by their third year, most agree that grades no longer count. After extending an offer, firms and judges rarely request their future employees' transcripts and likely won't be notified about a poor performance unless a course is failed. For this reason observers are positively perplexed about Ms. Myers' continued note taking, class attendance and overall enthusiasm.

"I appreciate it when any student comes to me to clarify a matter discussed in class or examine a topic in fuller detail," remarked Professor Hannah Song, who teaches 1L Civil Procedure in addition to upper-level classes on civil litigation. "I was absolutely shocked, however, when Hannah, a second-semester 3L, came into my office to theorize about federal multi-district transfer and consolidation. I usually only see that type of effort and care from first and second years. I didn't realize that there were 3Ls out there who still gave a crap."

According to fellow students, Myers is often seen in the library working diligently on her coursework. As a result, she reportedly does not go to bar review and hasn't attended special events like the NCAA March Madness viewing party and Barrister's Ball, Duke's law prom.

Most surprising of all, say people close to the situation, is that the still diligent 3L has been observed working with a study group to create outlines for final exams.

"One day I went into the library because my laptop was out of battery and I needed a computer to check sports scores," remembered 3L Fred Lewis, swearing that he would never, as a 3L, enter the library for any academic purpose. "As I am heading to the public cluster, I see Helene there with a group of 2ls engaged in what could only be outline-making. Shame on that girl."

Lewis added: "Unless they are trying to obtain clerkships 2Ls shouldn't be trying either. But these second years are still trying to unlearn the bad habits of 1L year so I understand if it takes a while to stop caring. On the other hand, a 3L simply has no excuse!"

Receipts recently obtained from Myer's refuse indicate that as part of her still giving a shit mentality she has purchased numerous hornbooks, commercial outlines, reviews on tape and other study aids. This, says barely checked-in 3Ls, is completely unacceptable.

"I almost did a double take when I saw Helene taking copious notes while reading this enormous Federal Courts study guide," stated incredulous 3L Daphne Mack. "3Ls are just supposed to show up, take exams and then party for a week at the beach before graduation. Maybe some people will read through a previous student's outline or spend a couple of hours taking the material over with friends. Anything beyond that is purely ludicrous."

A poll of 3rd year Duke Law students underscores the notion that Myers is virtually the only 3L left exerting any meaningful effort. 96% of those surveyed said that they no longer care about school while 89% remarked that they either didn't attend their last scheduled class or, if they did go, were so busy surfing the web or playing on-line Risk that they couldn't recall what the class was about. Moreover, according to the pollsters, only 40% of the 3L class actually responded to the questionnaire demonstrating that they "probably don't read their law school e-mail anymore or were away from their computers doing something that certainly did not involve schoolwork."